The Spirit, the prophet, and my pioneer ancestors. Where would I be without them? Lost.

Two years ago today I reported tot the Provo MTC to train for my mission in Mesa, Arizona.

Every single day I'm grateful I served.

I love my mission!

I'm so grateful for the people I got to meet, teach, and love along the way.

The elders I served with in the MTC get home this week! I'm so excited for them to come home! And my best friend Chase comes home tuesday! I'm so excited to see my buddy again. We are going to play and play and play!

This week has been extremely emotional for me.

Friday morning there was a shooting. Shootings are always terrible, but this is the worse I've ever heard of. A shooting at an elementary school. Sandy Hook elementary school. 26 killed. 18 kids, 8 adults. I won't even go into how crazy the shooter must have been. He was angry at his parents so he killed them, then he killed other people in the school. I can't imagine.

18 children dead. I can't imaging sending my children (ok, I dont have any so let's say nieces or nephews) off to school, hearing there was a shooting, and finding out my beloved little princess or prince had died. I would have no more will to live. I heard about it all and I just cried. I cried and cried and cried.

Thank goodness my sister came over soon after we heard about the news.

I hugged my sister and we both just cried.

I played with my Gracie lots and lots and lots.

We drew, we printed out pictures of us for her room, we twirled, we danced, we pretended we were princesses. (Yes, my ankle definitely hurt the entire time!)

So with everything that had happened, I was just in a gloomy doomy mood all day. Plus my pain meds weren't really working that great so I was in pain, plus the meds made me sick. Not a happy combination.

Then we went to the Mormon Tabernacle choir Christmas Concert.

I got carsick on the way down, we sat in an awkward place for me to sit so I was uncomfortable, and I was just in a lot of pain. So I was not happy.

Then about 2 minutes before the show started, the prophet entered the room to take his seat. We all stood. I (once again) bawled my eyes out. I felt so much at peace. There are 4 times in my life I have felt a complete overall peace go directly from head to toe- 1)when Elder White gave me a special blessing last January 2) When I prayed once for a friend 3) When my dad gave me a blessing before I went in to get my surgery (funny side note... I totally wrote a will before I went in cuz I thought I was gonna die from going under! Ha! But after my blessing I knew I wouldn't I knew I had much more to do something told me “Don't worry, you have more work to do” and 4) when I got to see the prophet the day of one of the worst shootings ever.

I am so grateful for the Holy Spirit and the peace it brings me.

When I saw the prophet walk in, he was smiling and waving and he was just so happy. If he can still smile, so can I. I am so grateful to have a prophet on the earth who can lead and guide me. I don't know how I could get through life without prayer, church, the scriptures, and knowing there is a prophet on the earth to let me know exactly what I need to do. I know as I am obedient to him I will be blessed.

The program was so beautiful.
Then they spoke about the candy bomber. (long story short) Gail Halvorsen would drop candy down on the kids in Germany from his plane to help them be happy during the war. He got many others to help and they ended up with like 20 million tons of candy for these kids going through a rough time!

Then they brought him out! He was there! And he got to talk about his experience.

And of course, I cried some more.

The other thing that just brought me to tears as I was watching the program was just thinking about the pioneers. I am preparing for the days of 47 pageant and as I am preparing I am reading and learning a lot about my pioneer ancestors. They were INCREDIBLE! I always say “I don't know what I would do if I were them. I don't know how they could handle all of that.” But they were still happy. They still danced, sang, and had families. I know if they were happy, I can be happy too.

I'm grateful for the Holy Spirit, my pioneer ancestry, the prophet on the earth, and how much they all help me to be happy.

I realized I really need to work harder on my Pay it 4ward program. I hope to get in to at least 5 schools this next semester and I'm planning on doing many many more pay it 4ward programs. Every good deed I do increases the spirit of righteousness and throughout the whole earth and decreases the power of the adversary. It says so in my patriarchal blessing and I fully intend to fulfill that.